The inside and outside worlds: a nitrous-oxide-induced-revelation

A prior blogpost of mine dealt with the phenomenon of achieving philosophical epiphanies while under the influence of a mood-altering substance. No, I haven't revisited the dentist since my prior post, but the revelations at that visit were so numerous that I had to divide the discussion into separate, concise blogposts. (Stay tuned for further sagacious insights.)

As discussed in my prior post, the nitrous oxide I inhale while sitting in the dental chair has the effect of freeing my mind of trivial worries and cares. Slowly, I relax into a deep, meditative ocean of mindfulness, and open to remarkable revelations. 

One idea that flowed through my consciousness was that all that we experience can be divided into two categories: the inside and outside worlds. As the dentist and hygienist worked in my mouth, my interior world was flittering with activity. Thanks to the application of nitrous oxide, the physical sensations in my mouth were not unpleasant, and I can say that I almost enjoyed them. This dental office had thoughtfully provided a television for their patients to watch and listen to, and the comfortable reclining chair increased the tranquilizing stimulus. 

As uncanny thoughts and images danced in my brain, I reminded myself that neither the dentist nor the hygienist could read my mind, so my "inside world" remained completely private. All that anyone else can perceive is transmitted through physical actions and audible words -- that which is perceivable by others is the "outside world." My skin is the metaphorical the barrier between these two realms.

I have found this to be a useful way of categorizing thoughts and experiences. I admit to being a little insecure at times, and often worry too much about what others may think of me. I may have a hypersensitivity to being judged, perhaps because I was bullied as a child and adolescent. There are even some things I hesitate to discuss with my psychotherapist, because I deem them embarrassing. She probably has "heard it all before" and would not be shocked or judgmental. Generally, with her as with others, I am a fairly open person and there are few evil things I have done, or wicked thoughts I've entertained, during my lifetime. I wouldn't say that I'm an "open book," but most of my "chapters" have already been published. (How do you like that literary allusion? It's almost as if I'm trying to promote my one published novel which is available in print and eBook format at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other online booksellers! 😏)

If I feel embarrassed or ashamed, I remind myself that others cannot read my mind, and confession, while "good for the soul," is not always required. Some secrets I will probably take to my grave, and no, I'm not going to share them with you either.