My “non-resolution” New Year’s resolution

I don’t believe in New Years’ resolutions – well, I do believe they exist for other people, but have proven ineffective for me. After decades of attempts, I’ve learned that beginning a food or exercise plan on the magical date of January 1^st (or January 2^nd in the case of a diet) is a short-lived success. Mid-year “resolutions” have ultimately failed as well. I managed to lose 40 pounds over a two-year period through a commitment to tracking all the calories I consumed and walking 2 to 3 miles at least 5 days a week – only to gain it all back over the next 2 ½ years.

My annual physical a few months ago revealed a condition that I had previously thought myself immune to – “mildly elevated” cholesterol. My primary care doctor taught me a useful mnemonic: HDL means “Happy” (i.e. good cholesterol) and LDL means “Lousy” (i.e. bad cholesterol). I suspect I’m not her first patient to cross the dubious threshold of 200, so she invented (or stole) this memory jogger for the sake of her aging patients, like me. The simplicity of her advice was astounding – eat healthier.

I suspect, though don’t know for sure, that the specificity of a resolution makes it more likely to fail. Aiming for a maximum daily calorie count, or minimum number of miles walked, practically ensures that the moment I go one calorie above the max, or one tenth of a mile below the min, the strategy is null and void, so I might as well eat as much sugary and fattening foods as I can ingest because the “magic resolution spell” has been broken. Indulge today, and start again tomorrow… or next year.

So for 2024, my “non-resolution resolution” is to eat healthier, move more, take better care of my skin (i.e. use a daily moisturizer and sunscreen) and in general, just take better care of myself. I may lose some weight (or I may not), my right hip may hurt less, my skin might glow more, and my cholesterol might go down. And since my non-resolution resolution is as vague and general as possible – and thus hopefully more sustainable – I might as well start today, rather than waiting until midnight on December 31.

If you have any resolutions you’d like to share, please comment below. Making a public declaration right here on my blog will surely induce you to fulfill them!

A disagreeable alcohol adventure

Usually trips to the liquor store are fun, but I had a somewhat unpleasant encounter yesterday with the sommelier at my local store. I needed to buy a Christmas gift for someone, as well as a bottle for myself.

Since I’m pretty much an amateur when it comes to wines and spirits, I asked for help in choosing a nice bottle of bourbon for my friend, and vodka for myself. (I have half a bottle of white cranberry juice left in my refrigerator from a two-day-long, clear liquid diet to prep for a medical procedure I had a couple of days ago. I thought some vodka would go well with the rest of the juice, now that the procedure is in my rearview mirror.)

I had to wait a few minutes for the sommelier’s assistance, since they were understandably busy less than one week before Christmas. The gentleman was very polite and pleasant until we came to the vodkas. (No issues in picking the bourbon – I fully relied on his expertise. The bottle he recommended was not the prettiest one they had, but I’m confident that it will taste exceptional.)

I asked him what countries produced the various brands of vodka that he recommended, and mentioned that I specifically did not want a Russian one, whereas a Ukrainian brand would be fine. He correctly guessed that my country preference was based on political reasons, and then defended the Russian vodka producers, who are merely farmers growing potatoes and not soldiers fighting a war. He then added something about France, and since he did have an accent, I asked if he was French. No, he told me, he was from Israel. Normally I would be able to tell the difference between French and Israeli accents, but our conversation had now taken a disagreeable turn, and I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

Attempting to smooth things over and appear unconcerned, I (unwisely) inquired whether he would recommend an Israeli wine or a Gazan one. He told me that they don’t produce wine (or much else of anything) in Gaza, and I now grasped that our previously congenial conversation had taken on a chillier tone. I nervously stammered something about “hoping for peace for everyone,” to which he replied that wishing peace for terrorists, rapists and baby killers was my prerogative, though he certainly didn’t agree. Trying to ease the tension, and appear as an ally, I mentioned how much I loved Shtisel, and that since my mother was Jewish I’m actually Jewish too. But it was too late now and I was sputtering out of control. I quickly thanked him for his help with the liquor selections and then headed towards the front of the store to make my purchases.

In case you’re wondering, I ended up with Absolut vodka, which is made in Sweden. I don’t remember the name of the bourbon, and since it’s already nicely wrapped as a gift for my bourbon-loving friend, I can’t tell you which one I bought. After we open the bottle for a taste, I’ll let you know!

Lisbeth's last minute holiday gift-giving tips!

 

The cardinal rule of gift giving: Socks are ALWAYS the best gift. They are “one-size-fits-most” (assuming you know the chromosomal gender of the recipient), come in a wide variety of styles, colors and price points, and are easy to mail or bring back from vacation (small, light-weight and non-fragile). 

Most importantly, they can almost always be found at CVS or Walgreens ("hosiery" section) on Christmas Day, as well as in airport gift shops, for last minute shoppers and travelers.

If socks just don’t cut it, here are some general tips:

•         Things that one can never have too much/ too many of -- SOCKS, books, food, alcohol, lapel pins, inexpensive funny/cute trinkets (as long as they are small), home cooked meals, theater/concert tickets, spa gift certificates.

•         Things that one can have too much/ too many of, but often need to be replenished/renewed annually -- hand lotion, soap, lip balm, bath bombs, cosmetics (but not nail polish if you happen to know that the recipient gets his or her nails done at a salon), bedroom slippers (because they do eventually wear out), fresh flowers.

But heed this word of caution. Gifts that one's sister or best friend definitely has too much/ too many of include costume jewelry, blank note cards, and wall art.

If you have any gift-giving tips to contribute, please add in the comments section below!

Important disclaimers: The above tips are intended for my blog followers only, and for any random visitors who accidently stop by.  No suggestion of a reference to actual persons (living or deceased) is intended or should be inferred. This is not a solicitation to receive a holiday gift, nor a solicitation of an offer to give a holiday gift. For entertainment purposes only. Void where prohibited by law. Viewer discretion advised.

Can one be too empathetic?

I like to think of myself as an empathetic person. Though introverted and not effusive with my emotions, I feel deeply for other people’s pain, even people I don’t know. The current war between Israel and Hamas is heartrending, and I mourn the civilian deaths and destruction on both sides of the border. And how can I not internalize the anguish endured by the Ukrainian people from Putin’s devastating land-grab, now closing in on two years with no positive resolution in sight. Closer to home, I need only look to the streets and subways of my own city to see the suffering of the homeless, the hopeless, the mentally ill and the drug-addicted, be they fellow New Yorkers, or refugees and migrants seeking a better life and a modicum of human kindness.

A frightening New York City incident hit the national news this past week, though thankfully, no one was killed or seriously injured. The partial collapse of an apartment building in the Bronx left dozens of families homeless, and the city and Red Cross are assisting with temporary housing. While some residents were allowed to briefly return to collect pets and other belongings, the apartments in the collapsed section were deemed too precarious to allow anyone to enter what remained of their homes. I thought of lives and holidays upended, of smashed Christmas gifts now buried in the rubble, and of the terror of those who had to flee the crumbling building. One news program interviewed a survivor, a young woman whose apartment lay in the destroyed section, now permanently inaccessible. She tearfully recounted the precious possessions she had to abandon, including photographs and jewelry of her recently deceased mother.  She was grateful to be alive but still, what a loss!

Early investigations into the cause of the collapse point to a building inspector who misdiagnosed a critical support column as a “decorative element,” discounting a fatal flaw in the structure. Miraculously there were no fatalities in the collapse, but his error has left more than 170 residents of the building without a home and with their belongings shattered. The engineer has been suspended from his job and his authority to inspect buildings may be permanently revoked.

The stupidity and incompetence of this NYC building inspector was echoed just a few days later on a far more tragic scale by the “accidental” killing of three Israeli hostages in Gaza by the IDF. It is incomprehensible that Israeli soldiers fired on half-naked civilians waving a white flag. Two men were killed instantly, while a third was wounded. Then he was gunned down while seeking shelter and calling out for help in Hebrew. There will be a full investigation by Israeli military officials, who have in the meantime declared that the fatal incident was “against our rules of engagement.” If something positive can be salvaged from this catastrophe, perhaps the tragedy will induce Netanyahu to resume negotiations for Hamas to release more hostages. These three men, killed by “friendly fire,” can be added to the growing list of senseless deaths of thousands of Palestinian and Israeli civilians.

My heart aches for all the victims and their families, and my pain is compounded by the utter futility of these preventable disasters. Yet I can’t help but feel some sympathy for the unintentional perpetrators of the Bronx and Gaza calamities. The NYC building inspector may have been lazy, inattentive and reckless, but he surely didn’t intend for the building to collapse. The destruction of his career and reputation will be the consequence of his blunder, but I imagine that if he has any sensibilities at all he would be racked with guilt. I know I would be. Likewise, the Israeli soldiers who shot and killed their own countrymen must live with the horror of knowing what they did. At worst they may be court martialed and imprisoned, but their astounding error will likely haunt them for the rest of their lives. It remains to be discovered what led to this horrendous misjudgment, but the slayings were certainly not deliberate. Perhaps it’s the author in me that is able to construct the imagined regret and anguish on the consciences of the parties responsible. Does the empathy I have for the perpetrators diminish the grief I feel for their unintended victims? I would like to think that compassion is boundless and enough sympathy exists in the universe for both the innocent and the guilty. I don’t believe it’s a zero-sum game. This feeling for others, even the injudicious, negligent and imprudent, is what essentially makes us human.